Say what?!

So screening was supposed to be set for Monday at 10:30, right? Not so much.

I get there and fill out all those forms, get with the nurse and do basic vitals, weight, etc. and they lead me to an exam room and say the Dr. will be in in a second. The Dr. comes in a few minutes later and says to join him in his office. Now... I'm not one to rock the boat, but I'm supposed to be having a pap and blood work done... and I'm fairly certain paps aren't done in fancy offices ;) So I'm wondering whats going on during the short walk to his office..

We get in there and he asks the usual questions about my history, about his protocol, the donor's cycle and how many embryos to transfer.... and then he sends me home.

Say what?!

Now, this part, I actually knew and questioned the nurse on when she scheduled my appointment. I asked her if I needed to be on a certain day of my cycle, or on my period to come in for screening. She said no, that since I'm not the donor, it doesn't really matter if I have a period or not. Like I said, I KNEW I was supposed to be on a certain day of my cycle... so when I asked the doctor and the coordinating nurse who was in that day, they said I needed to call back when I start my period for an appointment on Day 3.

Where is the disconnect here?!

I put the boys in childcare. I drove to their offices, taking the tollway because it was the easiest [quickest] route. And then proceeded to waste 30 minutes on someone else's dime. For nothing but a 5 minute chat with a doctor.

It didn't sit well with IM, either. Hopefully we'll hear back tomorrow on the disconnect.

In the meantime,


Happy 6 months to Miss Molly! It's gone by so quickly and I can't believe how big she's getting. I will come back and add photos later today.

It is my last 'official' day pumping, too. I will be only pumping when it hurts not to for a little while and for shorter times. It's kind of bittersweet, but I'm ready.

More soon.
Have a wonderful day!

Set?

Just wanted to post a quick update and let you know that we have 'set' my screening appointment for this coming Monday at 10:30!

We are working on contracts, insurance and all the logistics so that they can be in place and ready to go whenever we are.

Donor is set to retrieve mid-September! They will freeze the embryos following her retrieval, and after that comes our cycle and transfer.

In other news:
I am still pumping away over here, all set to wean beginning August 21. Last week I was approached by a family member about where they could find breastmilk for a baby their daughter/son in law are adopting really soon. They didn't know I was still pumping... I was pleased to offer them  my last two weeks (plus weaning time) of milk.

I love that I have done this for 6 months. I love helping my family out. And I love that I will- once all is said and done- have helped 2 babies locally and countless preemies through the milk bank.

But am I ready for weaning? You bet! What am I going to do with the 4 hours I gain back every day? I'm not totally sure! I certainly hope I'm a little more productive around the house, though!


That's all for today! Have a blessed weekend!

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ready?

So, where were we? Oh, right. I was 'starting' to look at couples who were searching for a surrogate.

I started putting my name out there again around the time I wrote my last blog post. I let my agency know they could start looking at matching me. I looked at a few profiles through the agency, but came up empty. I had heard a couple of friends knew people who were looking, so I let them know they could give my contact info and we could talk.

Throughout the next few weeks, I spoke with two intended moms [IMs] seriously (both who were friends of friends), but after praying and seeking advice I knew that one of them, while she was amazing, was meant for another surrogate. Thankfully it was a spirit-led decision, and it wasn't as hard a conversation as I worried it would be, God had prepared both our hearts. {If you are a surrogate looking to match, she'd be a wonderful IM, contact me if you would like me to have her get in touch with you!}

The evening of the 12th, we met up for dinner with the other couple, still not sure that they'd be *the* couple, but God really showed me through the week that I don't need a back up plan for this. He was directing my path, and that even if the couple I was leaning towards wasn't *the* couple, He had one for me, and "No," was "No." on the first couple. We went to dinner hopeful.

Shane, the boys and I went all together to meet them. When we first got there, my oldest son immediately hugged the IM, and asked me if she was family. It was my cue that he was comfortable. Shane and her husband got along well. Conversation was casual. My boys were comfortable. These really were the few things I couldn't have known before the dinner, so after seeing them together as a couple and sharing a meal with them as a family, I was sure. I let her know I'd love to work with them if they felt the same, kind of the same way I let Katie know.

She seemed so excited! It was good to see that smile and know that I get to help another wonderful couple out.

Now to work out the details, and we'll be all set! Currently we are talking about contracts and getting things together for psych evaluations and medical screenings. The couple is using a donor, so we have to wait on her to start her end as well. We are hoping to have contracts finished and screening done as soon as possible so that all we have to do is wait on the donor cycle.

I am going to continue to pump for the preemies until around August 21 (for a total of six months). I expect the RE will want me to have at least two full cycles before starting, and the egg donor [ED] will have to do her stuff, so it will probably be October before we transfer, but knowing it's coming and getting to know the couple right now is exciting!

I hope to introduce you to my new intended parents [IPs] in the next post! I want to be sure I have their permission and a decent photo.  Stay tuned!

Well, hi!

Well Hi! It's been awhile since I've been over to the blog to write! Never fear, I am here! ha! 

 Life since having Miss Molly has been pretty good over all. The boys are enjoying having me, for the most part, back! I'm still pumping, so a bit of my time goes toward that. I pumped for a local little boy for awhile, and now I'm pumping for the preemie milk bank for at least the summer. It was such an easy to transition to go from having a baby for someone and then continuing the journey by helping another family out for a little while. The fun never ends! 

 Molly is now about 18 weeks old and cute as a button! I still talk with Katie and hear how she's doing often, which blesses my heart incredibly. For Mother's Day, I sent Katie a Shutterfly book with all the pictures from the blog and a few from the birth as well. I'm pleased as punch that they loved it and shared it with their family! I really couldn't ask for a more amazing journey or the friendship I still have with Katie, now! 

 I realized a short time ago, that I never came back and said a few things I really wanted to say and didn't. It's been on my heart and mind and I felt this blog was incomplete with out it.


 Thank you to all who followed along as I found my way to and through the journey.

I really am so blessed to have had such great support through my friends and many of my family members. It would not have been the same without you all! Though the process of getting to finally "deliver a dream" was often hard and long prior to meeting Katie and family, I relied on faith and prayers through it all and am so grateful for those who prayed with me over everything. But everything was for a purpose and I learned so much along the way. 

 At the end of my birth story, I shared with you what my husband asked me and what my answer was... Would I do it again? and YES! Well, I'm beginning the process of looking for another family to help, now, and I am so excited to be just getting the process going again. I really feel this is a calling God has placed on my life, and am so ready to start again. 

 So... to be continued, right? I can't wait! 

 Oh, no... did you think I would end this post without a picture of Molly!?! Nah!! I couldn't do that! 

Isn't she just precious?!

A Photo Finish

If you have not read the birth story yet and would like to, please click here.

Welcome to the world Miss Molly!!

A huge thank you to Terah Pliliey Photography for the amazing images.

Molly is here! Part 3- Delivery!

Part 1

Continued from Part 2

Around 7 Thursday morning, the nurse came in and let us know we could start Pitocin soon. They put it in on a slow drip at 7:30. Katie went to the hotel to take a nap, and we sat and waited for things to get moving. My next exam showed no improvement, and I was still happy and talking. We wanted to increase the Pitocin, so they did, and the contractions finally started coming better. At 9:50, the on call doctor decided to break my water, I was between 5 and 6cm dilated. I had not wanted to break it until further along, but she thought this would be the only way to get things moving without just continuing to increase the Pitocin because she knew I didn’t want an epidural. I was not happy but let her break the water to get things moving. Then she reduced the Pitocin to a 2.

The monitoring really wasn’t going well, my contractions were really hard to pick up on the monitors, so I decided to let them try and place an internal monitor. Yeah, that ended up a bust. Not only did they dig around forever inside to try and place it, it freaking hurt!

My contractions weren’t responding to the low dose of Pitocin, either. So we again asked them to increase it, favoring a “git er done” approach rather than this up and down we were seeing. They increased it two more times, up to a 6, which helped quite a bit. By 12:45 when the doctor came to check on me, I was 7cm dilated and 80% effaced. As soon as she left, I told Maria I was going into transition, I could feel it. I started to focus inward and take myself to a quiet place to work things through.

I didn’t feel comfortable on my back and knew that if I could get the pressure off my back I would be able to get through it better, so I flipped on to all fours on the bed. During the time I was on my knees, I prayed and reminded myself to relax and let my stomach muscles relax and it wouldn’t hurt so bad. When I relaxed my stomach muscles and focused on breathing, it didn’t seem as bad, though I knew they were stronger now than they had been yet.

I guess I had everyone in the room fooled into thinking things were stalling again, though. With all my inward focusing, I was so quiet and still that Maria thought I was getting a little break. I was a little too eager in letting her know there was no such break. Not even a few minutes later, I could feel her head coming and let everyone know she was coming with several grunts. I was ready to push.

The nurses called the on call doctor in to come and catch and when she came in, she was not happy that I was on my hands and knees. But this was how I naturally KNEW it would be ok. Molly’s head was already there. I could have pushed her out before the doctor even got there! Unfortunately, the doctor did not agree with me, and I was flipped unhappily onto my back. At this point, all the progress I felt I had made on my knees stalled out. There was at least a good 5 minutes where nothing happened between flipping over and pushing. It was heart wrenching. But the doctor wasn’t comfortable with me on my hands and knees, so onward we went.

Finally, it was time to push and focus and get Miss Molly out, on my back. Suddenly, I began to fear the crowning “ring of fire,” and cry. Maria helped calm me down and soothed me.  I don’t remember how many pushes there were, but it felt like my pelvis was spreading so far. Something was wrong, her shoulder was stuck for a few seconds. It took a little more effort to get her out, on all our parts. I tore. Finally, at 1:52, she arrived. She was 8lbs 10oz and 20” long. In spite of her shoulder getting stuck for a few seconds, she was perfect and her shoulder had no issues.

While they suctioned her and clamped her cord, I remember just announcing, “I did it, I did it!” and Maria smiling and agreeing with me. As they wiped Molly up, Katie cried and kissed me and thanked me for helping them bring Molly in to the world.

Katie cut the cord and they handed her to me. Before I let her go, I told her it was my pleasure to carry her. Then I got to experience the joy of giving Katie her long awaited princess. What a glorious moment it was. The look on her face will be forever ingrained in my memory like a photo. The moment was frozen in time.

I couldn’t have asked for a better journey. Katie, Kevin and their entire family were amazing. My doctor was amazing. The Labor and Delivery nurses were awesome. This truly has been a dream come true. Watching Katie and Kevin fall in love with her was the biggest reward I will see here on earth for this journey.

My husband- who had gotten there around 10am, unfortunately, was out while all the good stuff happened, but got there less than 2 minutes after Molly arrived. When he got there, he hugged and kissed me and told me how proud he was of me. And then he asked if I wanted to do it again.

Heck YEAH!

Molly is here! Part 2 - More Pre-labor

Continued from Part 1 *Please read this first!*

Wednesday, I sent the boys to school, fully expecting to have to call in help to get them from school. Once they were at school, my friend Natalie came over and we sat and chatted. I had a whole bunch of little contractions but nothing time-worthy or consistent. About 10:45, Natalie started rubbing my ankles with lotion. A few pretty good contractions, but again, nothing time-worthy. It was an early-release day at school for the boys, and Shane was at work. Luckily, his office decided that this week he would be in the Dallas office and not out of town. I picked Brian up from school at 12 and told my friends I’d probably see them next week and drove off to get Micah and relax at home for a couple hours before Micah’s appointment across town. I sat on the ball for a little while during that time and really didn’t feel anything noteworthy. At 3, we got in the car to leave.

Somewhere along the way, I started having some contractions. They didn’t really hurt, but they were noticeable. At one point I remember thinking I was seeing flies in the car. Turns out I was having a contraction and didn’t breathe through it. I was seeing stars. I was talking to my friend Brooke on the phone and told her I was seeing stars and that I think I’d had a few contractions in the 30 minutes I had been driving. I had to take Micah in to his appointment, but I told her I would call her back for the drive home because I wanted to have someone on the phone in case I needed help.  Brian and I went inside to wait for Micah, but Brian started having issues being a polite little boy, so we went out to the car. While we were inside the building, I had a contraction and was pretty uncomfortable. In the car I had several more. Timing them was kind of impossible while trying to negotiate with a tantrumming Brian. I called my mom and we were chatting. She noticed I was having them more than just “every little while,” and I let her know about seeing stars. She and I decided I would stay on the phone with her for the drive home. I went inside and got Micah at 4:30 and called mom back and drove home. My back was hurting during the contractions, so I really couldn’t tell how far apart they were at all. They all felt like one contraction at that point. But with the way I was breathing, mom calculated they were about 6 minutes apart.

Sometime during the time we were at the appointment, I talked to Katie and let her know I thought they should stick around town for the evening (they were planning to go to Fort Worth), and felt bad for asking them to break their plans again… but I really just didn’t want them to miss anything.

When I got home, I was trying to focus and pay attention long enough to time them, but the boys were just extra rowdy and there was no way I could time them. My friend Kristina (also a surrogate and pregnant with twins!) stopped by to give us something, and I asked her to help me time them. She sat with me probably over two hours timing them. When she first got there, they were about 5 and a half minutes apart. At about 5:15, my doctor’s office called to remind me that I had an appointment in the morning. I told them I didn’t think I was going to make it. It took me a few times of saying that for her to “get it” that I was probably going to have the baby or be having the baby by then, but she got it. She asked questions about the contractions and reminded me to call when they got between 3 and 5 minutes apart. I said I’d call back in a little while.

While Kristina was there still helping me time contractions, Shane got home from work and Katie and Kevin arrived with dinner, ready to go to the hospital. I knew I needed to eat, who knew how long I would labor. So I tried to eat my salad, but all I could manage was the chicken and a little of the fruit. At some point during the time I was eating my chicken, Kristina let me know they were four and a half minutes apart. I could no longer breathe through them without tears. It was time to go. The excitement in our tiny apartment was almost overwhelming. I remember thinking, “Am I crying because I hurt or because this is exciting and really happening?”

All through the afternoon, I had been texting with Maria, my doula, and letting her know what was going on. I think I kind of freaked her out at first, not knowing how far apart they were and telling her there was pressure in my lower back/bottom areas. I think I was just so consumed with it happening that I didn’t know what was really going on. At 7:05 I texted her to let her know we were all heading to the hospital. Since Shane had to stay with the boys, I kissed him goodbye, and got in the car with Katie, Kevin and Jack. On the way to the hospital, I remembered I was supposed to call the on call doctor and let them know my contractions were between 3 and 5 minutes apart. I made the call and gave every bit of information to the voicemail during one long breath while having a contraction.

When we got to the hospital, the on call doctor called the nurse’s station just as I was signing myself in. Nice timing. Over the next two hours, through my contractions, things were busy around me. I was run through the admission stuff. Maria, doula, and Terah, photographer, arrived. And contractions continued.  I had to be monitored for quite a while at first.  The monitors were barely catching the contractions at all. At 10, they finally removed the monitors and I was free to labor as I needed to.

Eventually things started settling down around me, one being that Kevin took Jack back to the hotel since nothing was going to happen for a while. We decided to take a few laps around the labor and delivery area. Around 11:30 the nurses checked me again. I wasn’t much further along at all, and contractions were about every 2 to 2 and a half minutes. After the nurses left, I moved to the exercise ball, again to encourage her to move downward. Unfortunately, sitting on the ball was like telling Molly, “Nope, go right back up!!” and contractions stopped dead in their tracks. I got back up in the bed and they returned for a little bit, but then I had a popsicle and I turned on my side during monitoring. Molly didn’t like me being on my side, though so I ended up switching sides and going to sleep around 2am. Contractions had stopped again.

At 3:40, the nurses checked me again and I had made no progress. Still dilated to only between  4 and 5cm, and only 60% effaced still. We decided that if they didn’t come back soon I would consider a slow Pitocin drip. In my head, I thought “One way or another, Molly is coming out. No more starting and stopping.” I had already felt enough of a fool for calling Katie and Kevin as early as I did to come. But looking back, I really did call them right when I was supposed to. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t start Pitocin without a doctor’s orders- and no doctor would have been in their right mind to order Pitocin in the middle of the night, they want their sleep! So I sent Terah home to sleep until we knew what would happen in the morning, and Maria and I got some rest. Katie did too for a while, but then got up and left for a bit to pump and chill out for a while. I think she might have been too pumped to sleep.

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