Since the last post, we have spoken with more than a few couples independently, and one via an agency but I have not heard back from any of the other agencies. We were *so* close with a great family in the spring, but things didn't work out, unfortunately. Recently, one couple who caught our eye, we spoke with via email for about 3 weeks. Just when it started to look like we may have been ready to move forward, God provided me a day of "rest" from it and I was able to see some red flags really clearly, and got myself out of it before it was too late.
Everything seemed fine, there were little things I was willing to negotiate/compromise on, as long as they were little things, but then I had a day to take a step back and thought about things... I realized that all those little things piled up into a really big thing, and I fought my heart all night over it. In the morning, I prayed about it and made the decision to call it off. Instantly I felt a peace about it.
Later that afternoon I got a call from a local couple, who I immediately felt right with, but prayed about a lot that night.
Despite "feeling" right, I knew there were things I needed to know before we could say a definite yes, and even then I wasn't holding my breath. We have been able to have lunch with both of them and email back and forth, as well as talk on the phone, and we really like them. Yet, I didn't want to admit we were matched because I feared the same that has happened before would happen again. Like if I said or did something, it would go away.
Today I came to terms with my fears and finally admitted we are matched. Within the next few weeks I will be going to screening, and we'll see what happens from there. I'm cautiously optimistic. I know what can go wrong, and I have a hard time not getting my hopes up, so I'm praying "be still my restless heart" and for God to make it happen if it's His will.
Psalm 23: 2 He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake